It can be pretty difficult to deal with someone who is self-obsessed. These people take their selfishness to the extreme, which creates drama between them, whether they’re friends, partners, or coworkers. People who are self-obsessed really have trouble with giving and taking, splitting things in half, and looking out for others in relationships.
Self-obsession has a tendency to become really bad when it turns into narcissism, which is another extreme form of selfishness.
"At the core of extreme narcissism is egotistical preoccupation with self, personal preferences, aspirations, needs, success, and how he/she is perceived by others. Some amount of basic narcissism is healthy, of course, but this type of narcissism is better termed as responsibly taking care of oneself."
When these conversations cross the line into egotistical preoccupation, they’re not healthy for you, the other person or your relationship.
You need to remember that self-obsessed people are not challenging by nature. De Victoria notes that people who have narcissistic behaviors often have some kind of past trauma. You can help them become less spoiled by being understanding or guiding them toward help, rather than hating on them. Here are a few signs of self-obsession that someone is addicted to themselves. These can be signs of self obsessed person as below:
Readout: Personality Disorders
1. Take advantage of you
Sometimes without asking, we all have that friend who sleeps on the couch for the night. It’s usually nothing to worry about.
A self-obsessed person might be coming to you if they go overboard with favors – especially if they don’t ask if it’s OK first. Lifehack’s Casey Imafidon writes that to recognize this type, look for words such as “should” or “must.” If someone imposes themselves on you without a discussion, that is a sign they expect you to agree with them.
2. You always have to wait for them
Are you left waiting for 30 (or 40 or 50) minutes by your friend or SO while they dress for a party? It is common for self-obsessed individuals to not understand the value of other people’s time. The reason is that they think the world revolves around them, and it can be very tiring to deal with them.
3. They don’t see the big picture
Self-centered individuals will have trouble conceptualizing “the bigger picture.” They focus on only their own needs while remaining indifferent to those of others. Imafidon said that what happens to other people does not concern him. This isn’t cool at all.
4. They’ll do anything to defend their self-Image
Self-obsession or even narcissism may be the cause of someone’s preoccupation with maintaining their perfect image. The psychologist Michelle Roya Rad writes that arrogant people take too many measures to protect their self-image.
They like to impose on others and try to make others believe they are the better ones. If you disagree with those views, they are angry.
Also, check: Side Effects of Overthinking
5. They are liars
Some self-loving people may manipulate the truth so they can achieve their goals. Tina Vasquez told Lifescript.com:
Some people who are highly self-centered go so far as to lie or manipulate to get their way.
The article said, “These people may even lie and manipulate to get their way or make things work out for them.” The ultimate goal is always getting their way, and they usually go to any length to get it.
6. They aren’t very generous
It doesn’t matter what they eat, what they do at work, or which movie they watch, this person is not going to help you. This is a whole new level of selfishness.
Vasquez says that this characteristic has even been demonstrated in a study with the title “fixed total sacrifice effect.” Study participants who were diagnosed with self-centeredness were given something they wanted and that others in the room required.
The evaluation concluded that self-centered people use a two-stage reasoning technique, concerning deciding the amount that they want to keep for themselves before determining how much (or not) they can give to others. This is classic selfishness.
7. They struggle with empathy
Self-obsessed individuals are sometimes capable of empathy, but usually only if it benefits them. As long as they display their sympathy or compassion at all, they have difficulty grasping the concept of empathy in its true sense, according to Imafidon. A strained relationship can result from this.
8. They don’t have deep relationships
Similarly, self loving people are difficult to maintain a relationship with. It is common for people like these to be super nice, but only on a surface level.
It’s true [they] are charming, but they have an agenda,” Rad said. A lot of people are attracted to them, but they are usually the ones that feed into their arrogance. And that can lead to a toxic environment.
Check: Types of Overthinking
9. They aren’t the most caring people ever
The self-absorbed type isn’t going to be the friendliest person you’ve ever met since they lack empathy and can’t give. Vasquez says that the reason people are unable or unwilling to see the world from another’s perspective is also that they refuse to see anything through their own eyes. Whenever you deal with someone like this, you should be cautious, as you won’t get anything in return.
Check: Obsessive Love Disorder
10. They play up their contributions
People with self-obsession will act as if picking up milk or vacuuming the house are the nicest things anyone has ever done.
Their behavior is based on a) a lack of understanding when it comes to true kindness. A) they are simply taking advantage of the situation. Rad said, “They usually maximize their own contributions and minimize other people’s contributions. They expect too much in return for what they are willing to offer.”
It’s a sneaky way to dish out favors while keeping their own interests in mind.
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11. They’re a little too confident
Even though it can be a pain dealing with someone who is super self-centered, especially if they are trying so hard to appear confident, they may deserve support and understanding. In every case, they appear to be successful on the outside because they go to great lengths to make their image look perfect. But when you look deeper, their true feelings of inadequacy are revealed.” I think we can all relate to that.
Whether or not you continue a relationship with someone after determining whether or not they are self-obsessed is up to you. Although all of these selfish traits are glaring, a relationship can still be saved with commitment and effort. However, you may end up saving yourself a lot of pain by cutting ties and moving on. It’s up to you to make the decision